Our Adoption Journey July 2012 - July 2013 (B.B. - Before Baby)

I didn't interweave our adoption process through this blog up to this point in time because I was superstitious about writing about something that was yet to happen. Now that it's official and we have our sweet baby boy in our arms, we want to share our journey and how God blessed us with the gift of Jack Oliver May and his birth mom, Sarah.

13 Years Ago
Eric and I met in 1996 and married in 1999 (a little more than 13 years ago). Our love story is another blog entirely of it's own. Suffice it to say that God blessed us for a lifetime when we met and fell in love. From the day we were married we talked about adopting a baby. We didn't know when, or how, or why, but year after year the idea stayed with us in our hearts. After more than 8 years together we decided it was time to welcome a baby to our family. In April 2007 we found out we were pregnant and On January 4, 2008 we welcome Davis Michael to the world. Two years after Davis was born we were ready to welcome another baby to the world. After years of trying to have a baby we knew that God had a better plan. 

In July of 2011 Eric and I attended an informational meeting Hope's Promise Adoption Agency in Castle Rock, CO - but we weren't sure if the time was right for us to adopt. In May of 2012 we tried to get pregnant through IVF but none of our embryos developed past day three. In July of 2012 we went to the very same same informational meeting at Hope's Promise that we had attended in July of 2011 and left the meeting with a conviction that God's plan was for us to grow our family through adoption. From that day forward God has been showing us the way.

One of our favorite quotes that has helped us through infertility was this:

God's Answer to Your Prayer:
1. 'Yes'
2. 'Not yet'
3. 'I have something better in mind'

Indeed, he does have something better in mind.  

Dates We Will Never Forget

Six months have passed since our informational meeting at Hope's Promise so I would like to bridge the gap between then and now with the details of our milestones so far...

At the meeting in July Hope's Promise notified us that there was a 'hold' on the domestic infant adoption program and they weren't accepting new applicants at that time (due to a high number of adoptive families and not enough babies). The hold was originally set to expire in September but after several extensions, the hold was finally lifted on November 1, 2012!

October 5-6, 2012 - Hope's Promise offers a (required) Home Study training twice per year. We received permission to do the training in October (even though we couldn't turn our application in until November) so that we didn't need to wait another 6 months to take it. It was an amazing training and the most powerful portion of the training was hearing a panel of birth moms tell their stories about placing their babies for adoption. There was not a dry eye in the room.

Training At Grace Chapel in Castle Rock Oct 5-6, 2012

October 20, 2012 - We had professional family photos take knowing that we would use them in our profile book. The photos taken captured us at home...doing what we do...so our photos would tell a story of our family. It turns out that our photographer (Laura Lee Anderson) was adopted and her story opened our eyes to how important having an open adoption is.God places people in our lives at certain times, for a reason. It was no coincidence that Laura's path crossed ours as we started this journey.

November 1, 2012 - We submitted our application at 8:30 am (the minute they unlocked the door)!

Ready to turn in our application Nov 1, 2012

November 2, 2012 - We received an email from Beth notifying us that our application was accepted. YAY!

November 30, 2012 - We had our first Home Study meeting with Beth to review the process and paperwork. Immediately after our meeting we went to the Castle Rock police department to get our fingerprints (we knew that would be the paperwork item that took the longest to get approval). 

December 19, 2012 - We turned in our Home Study paperwork at 8:30 am (the minute they unlocked the door. I remember that it was a snowy day and I was wondering if their office would be open). 

Turning in our Home Study packet Dec 19, 2012

 



January 31, 2013 - The fingerprints have been taking almost three-times longer
than anticipated so we got approval from Beth to proceed with the Home
Study interviews to coincide with waiting for the fingerprints
(typically they wait to do interviews until after the fingerprints have
cleared). She told us she would assign a case worker the following week.


February 5, 2013 - We have been assigned a case worker - Rachel Wilkins!!

February 21, 2013 @ 1:00 pm - Our first Home Study meeting/interview with Rachel. We were so excited but also very nervous. We had no idea what to expect. Turns out, we had nothing to be nervous about. Rachel is absolutely amazing and put us at ease from the start. She asked us a lot of questions about how we met, what our relationship is like and how we came to know that adoption was right for us. When we left our interview we felt so excited for the journey that lay ahead of us and it confirmed for us that God's plan to grow our family is through Hope's Promise.

March 7, 2013 @ 9:00 am - This was THE BIG interview. We thought we were nervous for the first meeting with Rachel? That was nothing compared to this one! We knew this was going to be a stressful interview. Not because we weren't sure we'd pass, but when you want a baby more than anything else in the entire world, and you know that one day of interviews hold the key to that fate, it is stressful! But, once again, as only Rachel can do, she put us as ease as soon as we saw her. When we got there we each filled out a questionaire, she reviewed/approved our profile book, then she interviewed me first (2 hours), then Eric (another 2 hours). The questions were very similar to the ones in the Home Study packet. She wanted to know about our childhood, our young adult years and our marriage. It was actually a lot less stressful than we had made it out to be, but that is only in retrospect. At the end of the interview she gave us both a 'wink-wink' on being approved and printing our profile book. And now, we wait for our fingerprints....

The BIG Home Study interview March 7, 2013

Monday, May 6, 2013 - CBI Fingerprints Approved


Several weeks ago Eric called CBI to ask for an update on our fingerprints. When he called the lady on the phone explained that we were FINALLY 'in the system' but because of the new software and backlog, it would likely be the end of May (about 6  more weeks) before we were approved. Each week since then Eric and I have debated on whether to call back or not to ask for an update. Each time we debate the call we decide not to because if we haven't been approved yet, it would just be a disappointment. But, the day finally came on Monday, May 6th. Eric was driving home from work and and decided to make the call...


Eric: "Hi. I'm calling to see if our fingerprints have been processed yet. We are adopting and can hardly wait for them to be approved."


Lady at CBI: "Let me look. What is your name and social security number?"


Eric: "Eric May. XXX-XX-XXXX"


Lady at CBI: "You aren't going to believe this. You were just approved TODAY!"


Eric quickly hung up the phone and called me. When he called he said "I have some great news!! Our fingerprints were approved TODAY!!"


What are the chances, after waiting for 6 months for the CBI fingerprints to be approved, that Eric would call for a status on the exact day they were approved!? We are ecstatic!


Monday night we emailed our case worker, Rachel, and told her the wonderful news. She was so happy for us and told us that the moment the approval arrives on her desk she will call us to schedule our home inspection. FBI fingerprint approvals should follow within a week or two so with any luck we will be approved by the end of the month!


Eric and I continue to pray for a happy, healthy baby and a healthy and positive relationship with a birth mom. We are so excited to see how God's plan unfolds. To say that we are excited to welcome a baby into our family is the biggest understatement of the year!

Final Home Study Interview & Home Inspection May 22, 2013


May 22, 2013 was the date of our final home study interview and home inspection. Rachel (our case worker) arrived at our house at 2:00 pm and we were so excited to see her! She began by asking us questions about our parenting philosophy, how we discipline, what each of our roles are in the household (i.e. grocery shopping, cleaning, working), how involved we Davis' activities, etc. The actual question/answer portion of the interview lasted about an hour and included other questions about the safety of our house (if we have a fire escape plan, if our chemicals and medications are kept in a locked area, if our yard has a fence, etc.). After the interview we gave her a tour of the house where she took notes about every room - closets, bathrooms, bedrooms, back yard, garage. You name it, she noted it. At the end of the home tour she interviewed Davis for about 10 minutes and asked him questions about what he likes to do, how old he is, where he goes to school, if he was going to help with the baby, etc.


At the end of our time together (in total, about two hours) she told us that were were approved up to that point in time (whew!). All we needed before getting a final approval was our FBI fingerprints and a "yes" vote from Hope's Promise at their next staff meeting (their meetings are every Tuesday).


With excitement from passing this part of the test....we wait...something we have become quite proficient at. I read a quote recently that I love and reminds me to be patient....


Having faith in God, is having faith in His timing.

Family photo before the final home study interview.

It's Official - We Are Approved! May 28, 2013

We just found out we are officially approved (with Home Study) at Hope's Promise and join the eight other families waiting to be matched with a birth mom. We literally could not be any happier! Here is how we found out....


I was checking out at Hallmark in Castle Rock (purchasing 'thank you' cards for my three friends who are hosting a Girl's Night Out/Baby Shower later this month). When I got to the register my phone rang with an "unknown" phone number. I declined the call and when I was finished checking out I saw that I had a message. It was Rachel calling to tell us that they had received our FBI fingerprints and we had been APPROVED! She said that we have joined the pool of families waiting to be matched with birth moms. WOW! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! We were finally APPROVED! I was literally crying as I walked out the door of Hallmark. What an amazing day!


I called Eric as soon as I got in the car and told him the great news. We both cried and cherished the moment that we knew we would keep with us forever. We talked about how surprised we were to be approved this week (we thought it would be another week or two before our approval) because as of last Wednesday (our final home study interview) she still hadn't received the FBI approval and she didn't call us on Thursday or Friday to tell us if they had arrived. And, on top of that, Monday was Memorial Day so we knew mail wouldn't bring her any new approvals until Tuesday. On top of that, once she had the FBI approvals, she would need to prepare our 20+ page document and present it at the next staff meeting (they are held every Tuesday). So, how on Earth did this happen so quickly?! We reasoned that, logistically, she must have been working on our document over the past few weeks or months, received the FBI approvals on Thursday or Friday of last week, and was prepared to present us at the staff meeting on Tuesday.No matter how it happened, it was a wonderful surprise to get the call!


Shortly after Eric and I got off the phone we called my mom, Eric's mom and Sara, and I drove over to Hope's Promise to drop off the check (a payment is made at the time of approval). I spent a few minutes sharing my excitement with Rachel. She is such an amazing person and I was so happy to hug her and thank her for everything she has done for us so far. I was so excited that I couldn't even concentrate as I was writing the check. Right before I left her office she hugged me and said, "I told Beth today that I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but you guys are totally my favorite couple! I am so excited to see who God brings to your family!"


Later that afternoon we sent an email to our closest family and friends announcing our approval (you can read the email below and responses we received, below). 


That night we had originally planned to eat dinner at Mimi & PaPow's house (like we usually do when we don't have a sports activity planned on Tuesday nights). They decided, instead, to treat us to a celebration dinner at Red Robin (Davis' choice). It was so nice to sit back and enjoy the good news.

After our celebration dinner at Red Robin.

At dinner Mimi recounted a conversation she had with Davis earlier that afternoon when she told him (he was at their house for the day) about the approval and our family getting ready to welcome a baby. After her explanation Davis responded, "I hope it's a LONG time away because I need some time to relax!" LOL! He is such a sweet and funny boy. Jeannie noticed that after she shared the news with him, he was a little somber thinking about the inevitable change that was coming. Mimi thought for a second, then said to Davis, "Well, this means we need to get a present!". Davis asked, "For mommy and daddy?". "No! For YOU!" Mimi replied, "You are going to be a big brother. You need a big brother gift!" Davis had been wanting a Ninjago lego set for quite a while so Mimi and Papow found it and brought it to him later that night at swim team practice. He was SO excited! I guess being a "soon-to-be-big-brother' has some perks. =0)

Davis and his "big brother" Ninjago Lego set.

Here is the email we sent (at 3:48 pm):


Hello family and friends -

Eric and I are overjoyed to share with you the news that we have officially been approved by Hope's
Promise! Now that we are approved, our profile books get distributed to each of Hope's Promises' offices and our 'dear birth mom' letter is on the website! We now join eight other families 'in the pool' waiting to be matched with a birth mom. We simply could not be more excited!

Thank you, to each and every one of you, for sharing this journey (so far) with us. You are all such a blessing and we can hardly wait to welcome a baby into our circle of amazing friends and family!

Here is our letter on the website...
http://www.hopespromise.com/2013/05/eric-margaret/

Love,
Margaret, Eric & Davis

Some family and friends called us to share in the good news, others emailed us. Here are the email responses we have received so far:

That is such great news. So happy for you guys!!  Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way  :) -Stephanie Starns

We are so excited for you!  Your page looks beautiful.  They is going to be a baby that is so lucky to have you as a family!   - Casrissa Godwin

Yay!   So happy for you both and your entire family!  - Jackie Grahm-Heersink

This is amazing news and we are so excited for you all and cannot wait to meet our new niece or nephew.  

Looking forward to GNO and celebrating this exciting time with you! - Char Dunn

That is so great to hear!  Very exciting!  We are very happy for you! - Jayson May & Alycia

woooohoooo! So excited for you guys! - Laura Whitaker

Margaret and Eric (and Davis) –

You know how absolutely thrilled we are that everything is finally OFFICIAL!!!   This process has taken longer than we thought – but it will be well worth it when your newest family member arrives! We are so excited to have another Grandbaby added to our wonderful family!! We look forward to sharing this new adventure with you! Love Always, Mom and Ron

AHHHHH!
Margaret!  I could cry I’m so happy for you!  Huge weight is gone!  I
can’t wait to see who God picks for you, some little amazing baby! 
Congrats, you deserve it. - Jessi Erikson

Congratulations Margaret!  I know this is a long journey and I think your courage and energy is inspiring.  come on baby!! See you soon! - Sarah (Wu)

That
letter is incredible... and it describes your family perfectly.  I'm
excited things are moving forward and am sending lots of love and good
thoughts your way :). XOXO, Mares (Mary Freivogel)

Margaret and Eric, 
I am so very excited for you...especially now that it is official. And,
you are joining a small pool of eligible families. I know you are going
to be picked quickly.  Get ready!! :) Your letter and pictures are absolutely perfect.  I'm sure your book is too.  I am very joyous. Thanks for making my day!! Much love, 

Alex (Ed, Kate & Jack)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Leslie Pham

Crying with happiness. So excited for you, my dear. Congrats. - Kymn LeSage

Hooray! SO excited for you guys! What a long, emotional journey this has
been! Your letter is awesome - I would totally pick you : ) Can't wait
to meet your newest blessing! We're here to support you and celebrate
with you when that day comes! - Congratulations and lots of love! Julie & Michael (Buckman)

Dear Margaret, I am truly so excited for you,
Eric and Davis.  I know it has been a long journey.  I pray that you
will be called very soon and that you are blessed with the perfect
little bundle of joy. So exciting! - Katherine Wilson

Wahoooooo!  I just cried reading your letter!!!  Fingers are crossed!  So excited for your growing family!!

- Gee (Katy Rohrig)